Grief is a part of living, and yet our society devalues & demeans the people who experience & express it.  And even when we as a society acknowledge grief or give “permission” to people to express the most superficial connection to it, it is often only “allowable” when it is connected to the loss to death of a person (in some communities, animals as well). But grief can happen after the loss of *anything*, a relationship, a way of life, illusions of control, beliefs around humanity, anything. You cannot be open to the human experience and avoid grief.   

 There is no way that we get through this pandemic without experiencing grief. The “normal” is dead. And while that’s not necessarily a bad thing (the status quo & all it’s inequities & injustices is what got us to this particular point in time), it’s still a loss, a loss that many of us are not given space & time to process. 

Grief reminds us that we’re alive, that we feel, that we are connected. Repressing grief doesn’t make it go away. Ignoring the possibility of loss doesn’t eliminate its inevitably.

Eroticizing Grief

Grief is subversive, undermining the quiet agreement to behave and be in control of our emotions. It is an act of protest that declares our refusal to live numb and small. There is something feral about grief, something essentially outside the ordained and sanctioned behaviors of our culture. Because of that, grief is necessary to the vitality of the soul. Contrary to our fears, grief is suffused with life-force. It is riddled with energy, an acknowledgment of the erotic coupling with another soul, whether human, animal, plant or ecosystem. It is not a state of deadness or emotional flatness. Grief is alive, wild, untamed and cannot be domesticated. It resists the demands to remain passive and still. We move in jangled, unsettled and riotous ways when grief takes hold of us. It is truly an emotion that rises from the soul."
-Francis Weller, Entering the Healing Ground: Grief, Ritual and the Soul of the World

If you’re familiar with my work, you know I don’t mean “making grief sexy”. My definition of erotic is “that which stimulates or is pleasing to the soul”. In this context, eroticizing grief means acknowledging & honoring our souls that birth such vital, transcendent, untameable force.

What would happen if we chose to look at grief differently? What if we could acknowledge the “erotic coupling with another soul” that underpins our loss? What if we allowed ourselves the space to let all the feelings come to the surface? What could it teach us about our potential for connection? How would we honor our desires? How will our understanding of “permanence” change?

This 3 hour event is a time to delve deep inside, to honor your grief and let it lead you where it will. Grieving in community is one of the best ways to experience it.

In this 3 hour ritual we use breath, and sound to allow our grief to rise to the surface. We will ask Grief “What can I learn from you?” We will investigate the sensuality of grief, honor it & let it lead us where it will. Grieving in community is one of the best ways to make friends with it & allow its teachings to come forth. Grieving in community reminds us that we are not alone, that we don’t have to be alone with these waves that seemingly threaten to unmoor us from ourselves. Grief is a part of being human, and connecting to our humanity is how we survive.

Attendee testimonials

“The container was very safe, boundaries were clear, and M'Kali Hashiki's integrity and ability to hold space for and with others was super apparent and strong.”

“I found the workshop to be surprisingly serene, replenishing, safe, and transformative.”

“I actually felt like a new person leaving the workshop.”

“Your presentation style [was] relaxed, focused, knowledgeable, approachable, & fun. Content [was] unique, practical, life-changing.”

Registration Rates

Instead of a sliding scale I have 3 different payment tiers. All tiers give access to the same information/attention. There is nothing you have to prove to me about your financial situation, I don't ask for your tax returns or pay stubs. I simply ask that you do some honest reflection about your current financial reality from a mindset of abundance rather than one of scarcity & then choose the tier meets that reality. 

The tiers are named as they are to reflect the amount of “green” you have access to. The Meadow Tier is my “market rate”; Garden Tier is for those for whom market rate would be a hardship; and Savanna Tier is for those with abundant discretionary income.

The ticketing app that I use charges a fee (pretty much all online ticketing apps do). For the Meadow & Savanna Tiers, the fees are included in the rates listed. For the Garden Tier, I absorb the fee.

Registration Fees:
Belizean & Mexican Residents: Contact me directly for Sliding Scale Fees

$123.90USD- Passion’s Savanna
$96.09USD- Passion’s Meadow
$72.00USD- Passion’s Garden

Register with a buddy or 2 & save 20-30% on the Meadow Tier, plus no ticketing fee!

limited Pay-What-You-Can &
limited work-trade slots available.
Contact Me For More Information

Event Agreements

Community Agreements

• You agree to participate fully, and remain engaged for the duration of the event.  If you are unable to do so, you agree to DM your intention to leave to M’kali-Hashiki.

• You agree to not share the content of this class without asking and receiving M'kali-Hashiki's permission. This includes not teaching these techniques to your clients.

• You agree to having the event recorded (this is mostly for my own growth—often Spirit talks through me & I don’t remember what I’ve said). If the recordings are used for other online educational purposes, your likeness & voice will be edited out.

• You will communicate any disability access needs and respect the access needs of others. 

• Everyone is expected to self-monitor & to take risks: if you are someone who usually talks a lot in group settings, you agree to take this opportunity to exercise & strengthen your listening & witnessing muscles; if you are someone who usually doesn’t participate that much, you agree to take this opportunity to exercise & strengthen your communication muscles.

Culture of Welcome and Belonging: 

The group is explicitly QTIPOC-Centered, meaning that the desires, lived experiences, and safety of Queer & Trans & Intersex People Of Color are centered; meaning that Whiteness, Cisness*, & heterosexuality are not the “default” human states, and that those experiences will not be centered at the expense of others. If you are White and/or Cishet* (or cis* & queer), please be mindful of the ways that your privilege impacts the safety of others, and be mindful of whether you can be comfortable in an intimate setting when you are not the “default human”.

All bodies are welcome in our CyberCircle: trans bodies, thin bodies, old bodies, cis bodies, intersex bodies, gender non-conforming bodies, currently-abled bodies, fat bodies, disabled bodies, young bodies, bodies of any class, religion, or spiritual tradition. While there's no way to guarantee that all bodies will be represented in every event, it is my intention to have a diverse & welcoming space—so if you have problems being in community with any of the aforementioned types of bodies my events are not the right space for you.

*cisness/cis/cishet all refer to “cisgender”, a term means that you agree with the gender you were assigned at birth. It is not a slur, it is simply a way to describe people who aren’t trans in a way that avoids othering trans people. This is not up for debate. If you feel that cis/cisgender is a slur, this is a sign that this space is not for you.

**simply put, kyriarchy is the social system that keeps all intersecting oppressions (racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, etc.) in place.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Who is this event for?

This event is for anyone dealing with grief, any type of grief.

Who is this space not for?
This space is not for folx harboring a hierarchical value system for human bodies’ worth. This is not a space for people invested in isms/phobia (including but not limited to less commonly mentioned ones: transphobia/erasure; anti-sexworker beliefs/equating sexwork with sex-trafficking; fatphobia).

Who will be in the group?
The intention is that this will be a multiracial, mixed age, mixed gender, mixed ability, mixed sexual orientation/preference space. The group is Queer & Trans People of Color-centered, meaning that it is centered around the lived experiences of folx in those communities (QTPOC are not a monolith). The group is also explicitly welcoming to folks who are older, fat, disabled, single, POC, current/former sexworkers or in any way a part of historically marginalized communities. No bullshit will be tolerated. If you aren't cool being in a group with any of these, please don't register.

I’m not familiar with the online environment. Do I need technical skills to participate?
Actually, it’s really simple to engage in an online course! All you need is an internet connection and a computer, or a tablet (preferably with a keyboard, but that’s up to you). We’ll be using Zoom. If you don’t already have it, you can download it here. You’ll want the best sound possible, This usually means headphones/earbuds & wired internet. WiFi & a speaker can work just fine depending on the strength of your connection and the quality of your speaker.

You want to be somewhere comfortable without a lot of bright light. You should have on non-restrictive clothing, a blanket, some water, something to write/take notes with/on/in, whatever cushions you need to be comfortable, and possibly some tissues.

You’ll receive a more detailed email before the session.

I’m in Indiana/Australia/Buenos Aires: can I participate?
Yes! All you need is an internet connection and a device with a camera (laptop/desktop/smartphone/tablet)! The sessions will be held on Zoom. If you don’t already have it, you can download it here.

What kind of environment do you create?
I pay a lot of attention to the careful creation of containers, in which bodies can feel safe enough and relax enough to speak openly. Personally, I am non-judgmental, super accepting, and kind. I expect all the participants in this group to be so as well. It is a risk for everyone to show up vulnerably, and trust the group to hold them, so we will do our very best to make sure you are well met. If anything comes up that is distressing to someone in the group, every effort will be made to ensure they feel safe and welcome, even if at a growth edge. I do distinguish between safety and comfort, and know that most of our profound transformative learning comes at that intersection.

How Many People Are In Each Session?

There is no limit to how many people may join a session. The interactions between attendees is kept to a minimum, you are on your own intimate journey, in your own private bubble. But all of us together create a CyberCircle of Healing that we simultaneously contribute to & withdraw from during the session. Community is created in many ways and just being together, feeling all of your emotions, and sharing breath is one way.

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